“It’s not plagiarism, I changed the font”
“If you don’t stop talking right now, I’m gonna tear up my child protection certificate, and slap you right across the face”
“What happens when you mix pregnancy with firecrackers?”
“A baby shower!”
And that’s why I’m not allowed to lead children anymore…
They say the world isn’t run by cats, but the half dozen strays surrounding every exit to my house at 4am would indicate otherwise.
Nissan had never won a V8 Supercars Championship pole until they adopted Beyondblue (a major anti-depression foundation) as a primary sponsor. Suddenly, Caruso drives the Nissan Altima to a blistering pole.
Now imagine the commentators:
He’s cut the corner, and himself!
He’s slashed a tire, and his wrist!
He’s hanging loose, and his neck
-And that’s a suicidal move down the inside
Moral of the story: depression works
I am so done
No but seriously, if you are struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts,
have a look at Beyondblue
My Business Studies teacher drew a large swastika on the whiteboard early in the lesson, but impressively turned it into a drawing of a factory as the deputy principal walked in.
Sir, what’s that coming of the chimney?
“Everyone thinks that multiple choice answers are derived from some complex equation, but I just like making students spell “ACDC BAD”,
I don’t know why I teach at a Christian school…”